Is What You Desire Really What you Desire? How Expectations Get in the Way of Living the Life Your Truly Desire.

Posted by brenda mcdermott on

Do you ever have expectations? Do you ever ask yourself what you are expecting to gain by having those expectations or how will having them serve or not serve your best and highest self? Goals and expectations make us think and feel we are creating a desirable outcome and are in control of ourselves and any situation. This illusion however, can cause us great pain and suffering if the expectations are not met. It can lead to disappointments, resents, conflict in relationships and so much more. 

We have expectations for the things we are working to make a reality or a goal we have set that we “expect” to meet.  But how many times has it gone not quite as expected? I had that happen just today! I had a meeting scheduled, I was super prepared and most importantly, I had all my Rei of Light jewelry picked out to specifically support me in this meeting and allow me to fully express myself while listening to the needs and desires of the owner of the establishment. 

I’m sure you are wondering what I jewelry I wore and what crystals and stones I chose and why? I chose my Aquamarine Bracelet because it provides a calming effect, it creates a bridge between the heart and throat chakras so that you can clearly vocalize what you are thinking and feeling. The gentle energy of this crystal is wonderful aid for speaking truthfully and compassionately.  Aquamarine also stimulates creative expression. I wore my Topaz necklace because it boosts the energy of the solar plexus chakra.  It improves concentration and clears the mind.  It helps to manifest ones desires. Thus, using it can help you achieve the best outcome you can imagine. I wore my Amethyst earrings since this gemstone is well known for opening the crown chakra.  In doing so, it allows you to receive inspiration for speeches more easily.  It clears energy blockages throughout your body for energy to flow easily.  It can also provide energy, giving you an extra boost when needed.  Overall, it is an excellent crystal for communicating with the divine or receiving spiritual guidance while conveying information. Lastly, I wore one of my famous leather cuff stone bracelets with Turquoise because not only is it really gorgeous (if I must say so myself) but the natural energy of turquoise is very effective to aid communication and it is a powerful stone of protection when traveling. 

So, off I go excited to show someone Rei of Light Jewelry and how it would be a great fit for their business and from the moment I got there things felt tense and then the meeting started and it was not going the way I had envisioned and expected it to go. What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? Is my product now good enough? Am I good enough? 

These questions that arise are the result of expectations not being met and feeling in some way that you could have had them met "if only." The possibilities of what you or I could have changed, what we could have said or done differently in any given “expectation” situation are infinite.  So why do we do it?  Probably because it gives us a false sense of control. What I have learned is the more we want to control something typically the less in control we are. 

We all have expectations, it is just human nature. Often, we don’t even know we set ourselves up for the possibility of not having them met. Does it mean that we can't establish goals and desires?  No, it simply means that is we practice non-attachment to the outcome and just do our best in every situation then no matter what happens we feel just fine. 

What I realized the moment that I walked outside from my meeting was that I hadn’t done anything wrong, said anything wrong, my jewelry creations are filled with love, light and healing energy and that I am enough. I knew in that moment that this was not the right place for me to have carry Rei of Light Jewelry and the expectation that I had set to gain this new store account didn’t even matter anymore because it was no longer even my desire. I realized that my creations come from a place of love, light and healing energy and that I want my work to be in places that are in alignment with my values. This business establishment was not the right place for my jewelry creations.  A moment of true Clarity! Good thing I had that quartz crystal stuck in my pocket which helps bring helps to bring clarity! 

I would like to leave you with something to ponder.  

What expectations have you created that is causing ONLY you pain and suffering? 

What can you do to let go of the expectations that might be holding you back from living to your highest self? 

You owe it to yourself to live the life you truly desire. The path of least resistance tends to be the path of ease, flow and grace. In living this way, we can float downstream rather than paddle upstream. That is where true freedom and enlightenment come in.

To learn more about the author, Brenda McDermott

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  • Very moving article. Thank you for sharing your truth and a piece of yourself too.

    Casey Monroe on
  • Fantastic read! Not only do you create gorgeous and meaningful spiritual jewelry but you have the ability to see things and articulate them to a reader that just really opens the eyes. Thank you Brenda McDermott for all that you do.

    Susie on
  • So true! Really makes one think and realize what we do to ourselves and is what we say we want really what we want. I KNOW I want and desire your jewelry designs! Gorgeous work. I love every piece I have from you.

    Lynn Stamper on
  • Fantastic article. So honest, from your heart and every word is true. Thank you for sharing and for creating beautiful jewelry too.

    Renee on
  • Thank you for your inspirational words! So well written and heartfelt. You are a shining example!!!

    Jody on

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